Tuesday, April 29, 2008


I know this is the one, from all those years go. My clothes are filthy and I've not eaten in days but this is the one, so none of that matters. I drape myself over the Faery Mound and softly sing:

Hollow by Nick Black
isn't it right?
isn't it great?
pick up the pieces together again
don't forget
have no regrets
it only leaves you hollow

wasn't it right?
wasn't it fear?
i think that i thought that you were gone but you're here
whatever i said
whatever i did
only left me hollow

you're wasting time but so am i
the pictures on the wall
wherever you go
you and i both know
that i will follow

wasn't it twice?
wasn't it a shame?
thought it was you
but i'll take all the blame
only yesterday
was it just today
will it be tomorrow

didn't it shine?
wouldn't it fade?
was it a difference that you and i made
and if you forget
to have your regrets
it only leaves you hollow

you're wasting time but so am i
the pictures on the wall
wherever you go
you and i both know
that i will follow

your wasting life
and so am i
we stumble and we fall
whenever you go
you and i both know
it will leave me hollow


I finish the last line and my eyes start to close. I've sank into the ground some and I can't move. There is a glimmer but I can bring myself to look because looking would mean admitting that I believe. I feel the hand and see the light... then nothing.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

How Special For Him

He’s back. Just like that. No fan fair, no ticker tape parade. Nice, new shine eyes and a few more horns. How special for him.

He’s strolled back into the Shadows and taken them over. How special for him.

He’s whipping them all into shape, “Yo Niki, hey I was wondering if you could do me a favor?” My mouth hangs open and my fists tremble at my side but I managed to say, “Sure, what do you need?” How special for him.

He’s not acting like himself, I fear the worst but I don’t want to see it. He’s back and that tiny piece of me that I’ve gotten back screams, “Ignore it! He’s back” and I try for awhile. How special for him.

Every slut in town is coming on to him and he loves it. A flirt here, a bad mouth there, he knows exactly what will keep them coming back for either adoration or abuse. How special for him.

We finally spoke, long private talk on the beach. He said things that proved to me I was right, he’s not alone. His father smiles back at me as he rips out that tiny little shard of a heart I had found. I turn, walk off and he laughs. Daddy’s little boy. How special for him.

I did the one thing I thought may help to get him back and perhaps save the city from Daddy. I gave it all up, everything I struggled to gain for over a year. Nothing happened, just a blank stare and a clenched jaw. I am hollow again and this time I remember what it’s like to not be hollow. I’m lost but he’s found his way to a new world with new people. How special for him.

He’s put a hit out on me. Ordered me killed and the Gods know what else. Daddy is an idiot; he doesn’t realize I know what’s going on in the city. I suspect it’s because he just doesn’t care. How special for him.

I tried to beat him out of him, I think it almost worked. I saw for a moment the one that could make my heart sing, blinking back at me from dull red eyes. But then he was gone, the eyes even brighter, he didn’t fight him, he’s too weak. Daddy is winning. How special for him.

Home called me and this time I answered the call. He’s won; I’m gone, lost in swirl of ocean mist. I nestle down in the earth in Black Isle and try to remember what it was like to walk the forest and see the glimmer of the Fae. I’ve lost track of time and he’s probably not even noticed I’m gone. How special for him.

I wandered all last night, searching. I must have been at it for four hours before I realized I was searching for a faery mound. Gods has it come to this? The first realization made me cuss, the fact I didn’t stop looking made me scream. I’ve lost all hope. How special for him.